For most executives, the title isn’t just a label. It’s a load-bearing wall in the structure of their identity. Remove it — through retirement, layoff, transition, or choice — and the whole architecture wobbles.
When the Role Becomes the Self
It happens gradually. Early in a career, you have a role. Later, you are the role. The job description and the self-description merge so completely that separating them feels impossible — or threatening.
Ibarra and Barbulescu (2010) showed that major role transitions require not just new skills but a new narrative — and that the inability to update one’s identity story is one of the primary barriers to leadership effectiveness.
Deci and Ryan’s (1985) Self-Determination Theory identifies autonomy, competence, and relatedness as fundamental psychological needs — and shows that when these are systematically unmet, motivation collapses regardless of external rewards.
This isn’t unusual. It’s almost universal among high-achieving leaders. And it works fine, right up until it doesn’t.
The Moment of Reckoning
The reckoning comes in different forms. A restructuring. A decision to step back. A health event that forces a pause. Suddenly, the daily structure that provided purpose, belonging, and status is gone — and underneath it, there’s a question that was never answered: who am I outside this?
Many executives are surprised by how destabilizing this question is. They’ve navigated board battles and market downturns. But “who am I?” stops them cold.
The Work of Building a Portable Identity
The executives who navigate transitions best aren’t the ones who find another title fastest. They’re the ones who had, or who developed, a sense of self that wasn’t entirely dependent on the org chart.
This doesn’t mean abandoning ambition. It means having values, interests, relationships, and a sense of purpose that exist independently of any specific role. A portable identity that goes where you go — regardless of what the business card says.
Starting Before You Have To
The best time to build this isn’t during a crisis. It’s now, while you’re still in the role, still performing, still earning the title. Ask: what do I care about that has nothing to do with my position? What would I do if the role disappeared tomorrow?
The answers reveal the self that’s been there all along — waiting to be acknowledged.
References
- Ibarra, H., & Barbulescu, R. (2010). Identity as narrative: Prevalence, effectiveness, and consequences of narrative identity work in macro work role transitions. Academy of Management Review, 35(1), 135–154.
- Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior. Springer.
Further Reading
If this resonated, these go deeper — or browse the full Research Library for all recommendations.
- Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader by Herminia Ibarra — A practical framework for leaders navigating identity transitions; grounded in the research that becoming a new kind of leader requires acting before you feel ready.
- Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan & Lisa Lahey — A diagnostic framework for understanding why smart, motivated people fail to change — and what the competing commitments underneath that resistance actually are.
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown — On letting go of what you think you should be and embracing who you are — a quieter but often more transformative read than Daring Greatly.